Hello, my name is Onye.
I'm a Cognitive Behavioral Hypnotherapist. Your Mind Story is my online hypnotherapy practice for women caught in painful patterns with avoidant or inconsistent partners.
But none of this started with relationships.
It started when I was pregnant.
Hypnosis became real to me before it became my work.
During pregnancy, fibroids caused severe pain and left me worried about what labour would be like. A friend recommended HypnoBirthing. I went into labour with my headphones in, breathing, visualising and focusing my attention.
Later, after my baby was born, I could understand why my exhausted postpartum mind was catastrophising, comparing and spiralling at two in the morning. But knowing why it was happening did not stop it from happening.
I booked a hypnotherapy session. I slept deeply after that first session and kept using the audio I was given.
Not because I suddenly thought hypnotherapy was magic. But because I'd experienced for myself the difference between understanding why my mind was doing something and actually having something I could practise when my mind was doing it.
Then I trained in Cognitive Behavioral Hypnotherapy.
At another difficult point in my life, I was ending a marriage, navigating postpartum for a second time and suddenly a single mum to a two-month-old and a two-year-old.
I studied for my clinical diploma around feeds, nappies and everything else that was happening. I wanted to understand how cognitive and behavioral approaches could work alongside hypnosis.
Today, I am an insured member of the Federation of Holistic Therapists. I trained through a college recognised by the British Psychological Society.
And then I learned something a book had not prepared me to recognise.
I'd even read Attached before I met the person who introduced me to this pattern. I thought it was a good book. I actually gave him my copy.
And I still didn't recognise what I was in while I was inside it.
Because these situations don't necessarily begin looking like the thing they eventually become.
You don't meet someone and receive a warning that says: this relationship is going to leave you checking your phone, questioning yourself and trying to understand what changed.
Someone can initially seem available, consistent and secure. Then something changes. The closeness shifts. The distance starts. You don't know what happened, so you try to make sense of it.
And by the time you're searching for answers, you're already experiencing the pattern you're trying to understand.
Reading about attachment gave me useful information. It didn't prepare me for what living inside that dynamic could actually feel like.
The question that changed the direction of my attention
I found enormous amounts of information about his attachment, his behaviour and his reasons.
But the questions I became more interested in were different:
What is this doing to me?
And what do I actually do about that?
Those are the questions at the centre of Your Mind Story.
I am less interested in diagnosing the person pulling away. I am interested in what repeatedly not knowing where you stand starts doing to you.
Take away the label. Look at the pattern.
You do not have to be over him to start working on yourself.
You may still love him. You may still want the relationship. You may not know what happens next.
Working on yourself is not a verdict on the relationship. I am not here to make the stay-or-leave decision for you.
The work is about helping you calm the alarm response, break the pull, rebuild self-trust and return to yourself.
Less decoding him. More returning to you.
TAKE THE FREE ASSESSMENTSHOP YOUR MIND STORY