About

HypnoBirthing brought me here.

How do you get from a labour ward to 14.4 million people watching your videos about avoidant men? And the women who love them. How it all started I had fibroids that had me crying in the middle of the night, in excruciating pain, worried about what it would mean for my delivery. A good friend gave me a book and recommended HypnoBirthing. I haven't looked back since. I went into labour with my headphones in, breathing, visualising, focusing on the outcome I wanted. I got through it without pain relief, even after everything I'd been through with the fibroids. That was my entry point to understanding what happens when you focus your attention instead of staying in a state of stress. Stress means you can't relax. Can't relax means survival mode. And survival mode, left unchecked, is what makes women sick. When my own mind would not stop After I had my baby, it was the best period of my life. And my mind kept going elsewhere. Breastfeeding at two in the morning, holding the most precious thing in my life, and my brain was catastrophising, comparing, spiralling somewhere completely disconnected from the moment I was actually in. One minute I'm thinking about carpet, the next I'm comparing myself to other people and questioning my life choices. It made no sense. I know how serious postpartum depression is, and I have a child to be there for, so I had to act. I already knew the power of this focused state from the birth itself. I knew, logically, it was the lack of sleep, the postpartum period, all of it. Knowing the reason why didn't stop it. I booked a hypnotherapy session immediately. I looked for someone who had experience knowing what I was going through and booked her straight away. I couldn't afford to continue to spiral or lose my mind. My daughter needed me. I needed me. After the first session, I slept like a baby. In fact, it felt like I had slept for two years. It was a much-needed, rejuvenating sleep after all that anxiety, rumination, and stress. I kept listening to the audio as recommended. My mind came back. I felt the change and was refreshed from that very first session. I knew then, not theoretically, what this can actually do. From the inside, at the hardest moment. Given the history of postpartum depression in my own family, it pulled me back from potentially somewhere a lot of women don't come back from easily. The missing piece But life fast-forwarded, and I hit a moment where it had the potential to lose my mind all over again. I was ending a marriage, navigating postpartum a second time, and suddenly finding myself a single mum to a two-month-old and a two-year-old. Instead of just booking another session, I threw myself into education. I enrolled in a clinical diploma in Cognitive-Behavioural Hypnotherapy. When I look back now, I honestly don't know how I achieved it, studying in the middle of the night between feeds and nappies, with everything going on, completely on my own. But I did it. I chose CBHT because intuitively, and through my own experience, I knew talk therapy alone wasn't enough. The research backed it up too: combining cognitive behavioral tools with hypnosis produces significantly better outcomes than either approach on its own. So what has hypnotherapy got to do with avoidant men? Some years later, I met the man who showed me the exact, toxic pattern that is making women sick all over the world. It happened to me too. Even though I was a qualified cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist, the pattern didn't discriminate. I truly believe it's something you have to go through firsthand to understand the real depth of it. The month before I met this person, I had actually read the book Attached. I don't believe this book really spells out the devastating emotional, mental, and physical impact people with avoidant attachment can have on your nervous system. Luckily for me, I got out sooner than most because I had the tools and I knew what healthy love felt like. I had experienced a safe relationship in my past, so my nervous system could remember what it was supposed to be like, even while I was in the thick of the chaos. Interestingly, what I remember most from that period after the discard, whilst my brain was searching for answers, was that the content available online actually kept me in the loop for longer. Everything out there was external, about him, his patterns, his behaviors. No one was helping me focus on myself. Everyone was just giving information to solve the puzzle of him. An attachment injury, like being suddenly discarded by someone you love, is exactly that: an injury. Your brain's attachment drive and emotional regulation become completely dysregulated. It makes you feel like you are losing everything, and it can be completely debilitating. You do not heal a physical injury by simply waiting or talking about it. You heal it through rehabilitation. Healing an attachment injury requires repeated, structured experiences that help the nervous system feel safe again, reducing the brain's perception of threat, breaking fear-based patterns, and strengthening healthy neural pathways. This is the newer science behind Cognitive-Behavioural Hypnotherapy. The dynamic I started my account, Don't Sleep With Avoidant Men, simply to spread awareness about how this pattern impacts women. But when I realized the sheer depth of what so many women were going through, I knew awareness wasn't enough. Everyone else in this space is talking about him. I talk about what that dynamic has done to your nervous system, and what it actually takes to find peace again. So many women are living this and telling themselves it's just how relationships are, just difficult love, just the price of caring about someone. It isn't. What this dynamic does to how you function and your sense of yourself isn't normal. Women are recognising that now. That's why they're here, whether they're still in it or they're out of it. As someone who has been through it and who has studied the clinical frameworks of CBHT, I designed these audios to give your brain and nervous system the repeated experiences they need to be well and recover from these dynamics. I'm not here to tell anyone to stay. I'm not here to tell anyone to leave. I can't change him. I can't make him come back. What I can do is help you find peace while this dynamic is messing with you, so you can finally feel like yourself again. If you've been through this, you know exactly what I mean. And you don't have to stay feeling like that, even if you are staying. Because the truth no one is telling you is that if you do decide to stay, or you are hoping it works out, you more than anyone need the tools to handle this dynamic. These tools are built to help you move through it, no matter where you are. 14.4 million views later, it was never about him. It's always about helping you find your way back to yourself. If you're ready to start, take the free quiz below and find out exactly which audio is designed for where you are right now.