Break the cycle.
Take your life back.
You understand the cycle. But you’re still stuck in what it’s doing to you.
You may understand why he pulls away. You may know exactly what you should do.
And you’re still checking.
Still replaying.
Still waiting.
Still reaching out.
Still asking what his behaviour means, whether he misses you, whether he’ll come back, whether the silence means it’s over, whether he ever really loved you, or what you should do next.
Still changing your mind and second-guessing yourself.
Still playing the whole thing over in your head when what you really want is some peace.
Understanding the cycle isn’t the same as breaking it.
Because knowing what you should do and being able to do it when you’re triggered are not the same thing.
The Your Mind Story Bootcamp is 12 weeks of guided work using Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy to work on what this pattern has started doing to you.
The way your whole system can suddenly go on alert when something happens, or when you think about him.
The impulse to check your phone, reach out, replay, investigate, ask questions or find reassurance.
The loss of trust in yourself when you keep doing the thing you said you weren’t going to do, changing your mind, questioning what was real, wondering whether you were too needy, or no longer trusting your own judgement.
And the amount of your attention, mood and day that can start depending on what he does, doesn’t do, did or didn’t do, even if you’re not together anymore.
12 weeks. 4 steps. Get your mind back.
or 3 monthly payments of £105
Standard Bootcamp price after the Original Group: £399
Guided Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy • Weekly Your Mind Story reflection • Short weekly check-ins • 4 group integration calls
“I was at my wits end with constantly thinking about the ending of my relationship. It was consuming my mind... I still have the loop but it’s not consuming me constantly.”
KimberlyYou probably don’t need more information about him.
You’ve watched the videos. Read the posts. Learned about avoidant attachment.
Maybe you can explain why he pulls away. Maybe you understand the hot and cold better than you ever wanted to.
And you still find yourself staring at your phone.
Still replaying what he said.
Still wondering what changed.
Still knowing you shouldn’t check and checking anyway.
Still making a decision and then questioning it the minute he comes back, goes quiet, or something inside you gets triggered.
More information can help you understand why this is happening. But information alone does not automatically change what happens in you when it happens again.
So at some point the question needs to change.
Not: Why is he doing this?
But: What has this started doing to me?
Because the cost is not only the two minutes you spend checking his profile.
It’s what happens afterwards.
The hour you lose replaying. The sleep. The plan you cancel. The conversation you’re only half present for. The decision you made yesterday that suddenly feels impossible to trust today.
The amount of your life that starts happening around him, the situation, or the aftermath of it.
Even when he isn’t physically there. Even when you’re on a break. Even when you’re in no contact. Even when he is silent. Even when the relationship has ended.
It can still feel like he is in your head all the time.
That is the part we need to work on.
Why four steps?
Something happens and your body sounds the alarm.
It’s automatic.
That alarm creates the impulse to check, reach out, replay, investigate, ask questions or get reassurance. The list goes on.
When that keeps happening, a second problem starts to appear.
You stop trusting yourself.
You say you won’t call, then you call.
You decide you’re done, then question yourself.
You don’t know what was true and what wasn’t.
You wonder whether you were too needy, too demanding, too sensitive, or whether you imagined the whole thing.
And eventually so much of your attention can be going towards him, what happened, what might happen, or what it all meant that you start losing contact with yourself.
You don’t even have to still be in the relationship for that to be happening.
Quiet the Alarm
Break the Pull
Restore Self-Trust
Return to Yourself
These are the four steps you take to return to yourself.
Do you actually need the whole Bootcamp?
Maybe not.
If one particular part of this pattern is causing you the biggest problem, one focused Your Mind Story tool may be enough to start.
Maybe the main problem is the spiral. Maybe it’s staying no contact. Maybe it’s the urge to check.
You don’t need a 12-week programme just because it’s available to you.
But sometimes it isn’t one thing anymore.
You’re activated and checking.
You’re replaying and questioning yourself.
You know what you want to do but struggle to stay connected to it.
You calm yourself down and then something happens and you’re straight back in the same place again.
Or you simply want a more comprehensive approach and don’t want to leave loose ends.
You don’t only want to get through tonight. You want to stop ending up back here.
That is when I would recommend the full four-step Bootcamp.
Because then we’re not working on one moment. We’re working on the pattern.
Notice what feels familiar.
Do any of these moments happen before you have even had time to think?
And if they do, where do you notice them first? Your chest? Your stomach? Your breathing? The sudden urge to do something?
Quiet the Alarm
This is the part that can happen before you have even had time to think.
No message. A different tone. Seeing him online. Remembering something. Thinking about what he might be doing. Something just feels off.
Your chest tightens. Your stomach drops. Your breathing changes. Your mind starts running. You need to know what is happening.
We don’t start by telling you to stop caring or to “just don’t check.” We start by working on the automatic response that is making everything feel urgent in the first place.
A message, a silence, a thought or a memory does not have to send your whole system into alert.
Break the Pull
You can feel completely clear one minute.
Then the urge hits.
Check. Message him. Read the conversation again. Look at his social media. See whether he is online. Work out what he meant. Ask another question. Find one more piece of information that might finally make you feel better.
Sometimes you have checked before you have even really decided to.
You already know the relief rarely lasts. Then the urge comes back.
So this step is not about spending three weeks arguing with yourself. We work on the pull underneath the behaviour.
You can feel the urge without automatically checking, reaching out or going back.
“Took me out of my own head and helped calm the voice screaming at me to reach out.”
KRestore Self-Trust
At some point this can stop being only about whether you trust him.
It becomes about whether you trust yourself.
You notice something isn’t right, then wonder if you’re overreacting.
You decide what you need, then talk yourself out of it.
You set a boundary, then worry that you asked for too much.
You say you won’t call, then you call. You say you’re done, then the feeling changes and suddenly you don’t know anymore.
You start questioning what was real, what wasn’t, and whether you can trust your own judgement at all.
You start believing yourself again. What you know, what you decide and what you do start matching again.
Return to Yourself
This is bigger than thinking about him less.
It’s about your life becoming yours again.
Your attention. Your decisions. Your time. Your peace. Your relationships. Your plans. The things you care about.
The thoughts, memories, waiting, questions and effects of what happened stop being the thing your life has to keep orbiting around.
You feel like yourself again.
What does “take your life back” actually mean?
It does not mean you become somebody who never thinks about him again.
It does not mean you stop loving him on command.
And it does not mean becoming a woman who needs nobody.
It can start much more simply.
He goes quiet and your entire day doesn’t disappear with him.
You feel the urge to check and don’t automatically act on it.
You miss him without abandoning yourself.
You make a decision and don’t have to remake it every time your feelings change.
You are with somebody you love and you are actually there.
You stop needing to know what he is thinking before you are allowed to have peace.
And this is where you start fighting for yourself like nobody has ever fought for you.
Every time you press play.
Every time you keep the promise you made to yourself.
Every time you feel the urge and choose not to abandon yourself just to make the feeling stop.
You are teaching yourself something at the automatic level where this pattern has been playing out:
I am here. I will not abandon myself to keep connection with somebody else.
And the more you demonstrate that to yourself, the less willing you become to repeatedly abandon yourself for somebody who cannot or will not meet you with the same care, consistency or capacity.
You become someone you can trust.
“For the first time in 5 weeks I was able to regulate my breathing, stop my racing heart and I actually slept.”
You don’t have to be completely out of the relationship to start.
You may still love him. You may still want the relationship to work.
You might still be with him. Somewhere in the on-and-off bit. On a break. Trying to leave. Trying to stay no contact. Being met with silence.
Or the relationship may have ended months ago and somehow you are still carrying it around in your head every day.
You do not have to make the stay-or-leave decision before you start.
I am not going to make it for you.
The work is about helping you get back to a place where your decisions actually feel like your decisions.
Not whatever feels safest when he disappears.
Not whatever feels easiest when he comes back.
Not whatever today’s panic tells you to do.
You.
Here’s what the 12 weeks actually look like.
Quiet the Alarm
Guided Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy for this step, weekly Your Mind Story reflection, short progress check-in, then your first group integration call.
Break the Pull
Guided work around the urge to check, reach out, replay and get certainty, plus your weekly reflection, check-in and second integration call.
Restore Self-Trust
Work on your relationship with your own judgement, needs, decisions and boundaries, then your third integration call.
Return to Yourself
The focus moves back towards your life, identity and relationships, followed by your final reflection, check-in and integration call.
Each of the four group calls also includes a short guided hypnotherapy session connected to the work you have just completed.
What do I actually have to do?
This is not another course where I give you 47 lessons and a portal you feel guilty for ignoring.
Your main daily job is to press play.
Once a week, spend around 15 minutes writing Your Mind Story and complete your short check-in.
Every three weeks, we stop and look at what is moving, where you are getting stuck and what needs attention next.
Press play → Write Your Mind Story → Check in → Return
Miss a day? Return.
Have a terrible week? Return.
Find yourself back in the loop? Return.
You don’t have to do this perfectly. You do have to participate.
Because this work is not about how much content you can consume. It is about repeatedly practising something different.
We’re not waiting until Week 12 to ask whether anything has changed.
Your check-ins are there so we can see what is actually happening.
- The alarm
- The checking
- The mental loop
- Physical distress
- Sleep and presence
- Self-trust
- Self-boundaries
- Self-connection
Every three weeks we stop and look. What has shifted? What hasn’t? Where are you still getting caught? What needs more attention next?
Because sometimes the change is not “I never thought about him again.”
Sometimes it is:
I wanted to check and I didn’t.
I noticed myself spiralling earlier.
I slept.
I didn’t send the message.
I believed myself.
I had a good day even though he was quiet.
That is movement.
“This recording has helped calm the spike of wanting to reach out to my ex. I feel at peace when I listen and it helps with the grieving process and making no contact stick.”
BrittWhy Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy?
Because the frustrating part is often that you already know.
You know checking probably won’t give you what you want.
You know another message won’t create certainty.
You know replaying what happened for the hundredth time is unlikely to reveal the answer.
And knowing that does not necessarily stop the response when it hits.
Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy gives us a way to work with thoughts, attention, behaviour and learned responses rather than only adding more information.
That is why the Bootcamp is not another 12 weeks of learning more about avoidant men. We have enough to work on already: what is happening in you.
A little about me
I’m Onye.
Your Mind Story is my online hypnotherapy practice.
I have a diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy, and I’m an insured member of the Federation of Holistic Therapists.
I also know what it is like to understand this kind of pattern intellectually and still find yourself caught in what it is doing to you.
So we are not spending these 12 weeks becoming better at analysing him.
We are working on you.
The Your Mind Story Bootcamp
Starts Sunday 4 October 2026.
This is the first group-supported 12-week Your Mind Story Bootcamp.
- 12 weeks of structured guided work
- Guided Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy throughout
- Weekly Your Mind Story reflections
- Short weekly progress check-ins
- A checkpoint at the end of every three-week step
- Four group integration calls
- A short guided hypnotherapy integration during each group call
- Progress tracking across the areas we are actively working on
- Personal review if you genuinely complete the work and still cannot identify meaningful movement
or 3 monthly payments of £105
Standard Bootcamp price after the Original Group: £399
Enrolment closes when the Original Group begins on Sunday 4 October.
There is no late join once the 12-week group has started. The £297 Original Group price closes with it.
What if I genuinely do the work and nothing changes?
We are not going to wait until Week 12 before we look.
That is what the check-ins and three-week reviews are for.
You do not have to be perfect. But you do have to participate.
That means using the guided work consistently, completing your weekly Your Mind Story reflections and doing your check-ins.
If you genuinely complete the core 12 weeks and, at the end, you cannot identify meaningful movement in the areas we have been tracking, I will personally review your progress with you.
And if, after that review, neither of us can identify meaningful movement from where you started, I will refund what you paid for the Bootcamp.
If you have genuinely participated, I am not going to leave you at Week 12 with: “Well, you tried.”
Questions you might still have
What if I’m still with him?
You can still do the Bootcamp. You do not have to stop loving somebody before you can stop losing yourself in the relationship.
What if it’s already over?
Ending the relationship and ending what is happening inside you are not always the same thing. If you are still checking, replaying, waiting, hoping, questioning yourself or spending huge amounts of time thinking about him, there is still something here to work on.
Are you going to tell me to go no contact?
No. This programme is not here to make your relationship decisions for you. It is here to help you get steadier, clearer and more connected to yourself while you make them.
I already know loads about avoidant attachment. Is this going to tell me everything I already know?
No. If information alone were enough, you probably would not still be fighting the same internal battle. This is not the next piece of information. It is the next piece of work.
The Original Group starts Sunday 4 October.
Enrolment closes when the group begins. The £297 Original Group price closes with it.
You don’t need to understand him better first.
You don’t have to stop missing him first.
You don’t have to decide the entire future of the relationship first.
You can start with the part you actually have access to.
You.
Break the cycle. Take your life back.
£297 in full or 3 monthly payments of £105